Leather Weather

I’m letting two worlds collide in today’s post by sharing something I wrote for my stand up class. We had to do a set about something honest, something truly personal. It didn’t have to be funny, just real. I decided to write about my near death experience I had back in 2008, which changed the trajectory of my life completely.

There isn’t anything certain in this life, except of course for death.

The saying goes ‘death and taxes’ but we all know if you are rich enough you can escape one of those. (Looking at you Donald…)

So if it is a sure thing why are we always so upset about it? I guess its always because the people who go too soon end up being the nicest, best people imaginable.

So i guess if you want to live forever just be an a-hole? No thats too easy, they die too anyway.

I almost died once. In a freak snowmobile accident. It was a complete freak accident and the 7 vodka tonics I had at various bars along the trail had absolutely nothing to do with it.

I remember none of the accident, just the before and after. I remember hitting 100 mph while Kanye’s 808 and Heartbreak blared in my headphones. That was incredible. I felt invincible. Still one of my favorite albums too…

Later that night while going about 20 mph my sled hit something and flipped over and catapulted me off in to the distance while my boyfriend, horrified, watched me helplessly as he was behind me on his own sled.

I woke up intibated, the tubes down my throat, and arms tied down to the hospital bed. I thought I was dreaming or having a nightmare or something. I couldn’t speak because of the tubes so I wrote out my one question to the nurse – what happened?? after they said I had an accident, I noticed my family was in the room – they had flown in from California – my next question was ‘ is it that bad??’ I thought I was definitely dying.

They told me I was flown to a hospital in Madison, Wisconsin, because the little podunk town we were in didn’t have a neurosurgeon, and they thought I might need brain surgery. They thought this because while I seemed totally fine, while I was talking to the doctor, I learned he used to be an Engineer so, at the time I worked for an Engineering firm and apparently I was trying to recruit MY DOCTOR TO GO BACK TO ENGINEERING AND WORK FOR MY COMPANY.

I did have two separate hematomas in my head, and i shattered my collarbone. But I would live.

My husband, then boyfriend had to make the fateful call to my parents in California. Not only did they not know I was going on this trip, they didn’t know about my boyfriend. So my not Muslim boyfriend had to call my Muslim father – like ‘hi sir, I’m dating your daughter and by the way she also might be dying’

I didn’t need brain surgery as the hematoma reduced by itself by the grace of God. I do have a shiny new metal collarbone as a souvenir though. No it does not set off the metal detector at the airport…

Almost dying was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve always thought I lucked out, this was my second chance at life. I’m appreciating every moment I have here on Earth, doing everything I can and trying not to complain too much. I’m not wasting my time dwelling on past mistakes nor am I wasting my precious time on people who bring me down. I’m living my life unapologetically, authentically me.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got until its (almost) gone?

sandro-leather-jacket-jjill-sweater-aquazzura-heels aquazzura-heels-fall-outfitaquazzura-fur-sandals jjill-sweater-layeredTop: Thanks to J.Jill (get 25% off with code OCT2517)| Jacket: Sandro (old – similar leather style – similar suede style) | Jeans: Zara (old – similar style) | Bag: Stella McCartney | Shoes: Aquazzura – similar style (under $110) |

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  • Slightly terrified because I just hit publish on a new YouTube video where I am completely makeup free (and possibly too close up - nose hair close 😬) reviewing the new clean skincare line @oneoceanbeauty that I have been testing for the past 8 weeks. I thought about not posting the video because watching it brought out a lot of my insecurities - about aging and wrinkles, my asymmetrical face, my unfortunate eyebrows - but I decided to do it because I love seeing other women who are confident and comfortable in their own makeup free skin and I want to be that too! 🙌🏾 #cleanskincare #cleanbeauty #skincareroutine 
Link to watch:
https://youtu.be/YMlSG9VDlAk
  • When at least one of us is looking at the camera, it’s a win 🙌🏾 Also, I’m holding the rocks she collected for her - lol - We are staying cozy  inside today, carving pumpkins and watching movies ~ a Sunday well spent 💕 what are you all up to? #mommyandme #pumpkinpatch #fallthings
  • #flashbackfriday Scrolling through my iCloud and came across this family picture shot by @jorellegates. Two thoughts: 1) I can’t believe how teeny my babies are And 2) we need to take more family pictures! Do you guys get professional family pics done? If yes, how often? With Adam we did it every season but now we can’t seem to get our act together ~ even for someone who takes pictures constantly I can’t seem to do it 😔 #fambam #momswithcameras
  • Thinking about what my next YouTube video should be? I’m thinking of organizing my kitchen/pantry/junk drawer (for some good old organization porn) - or a Fall outfit look book featuring only stuff I already own (restyled) and the only new stuff would be thrifted? Which would you want to see first?? Let me know! #tgif #styleinspo
  • Sophie’s face whenever I try to take her picture - either that or she’s running away 😑 Today we took a spontaneous trip to the pumpkin farm ~ I got my fill of apple cider donuts - which is the real reason why I love to go tbh - but the real question is which are your fave, glazed or cinnamon/sugar??? #momswithcameras #pumpkinpatch
  • Last nights look for a little soirée with the @urbandecaycosmetics team! What could be better than a night of makeup and pizza??? I’ll wait... #udallnighter #chicagoblogger #makeupparty
  • Smiling because a new YouTube video is now live on my channel! Sharing how I meal prepped this week’s lunch - it is a really easy beef stew recipe - (it’s also a really good veggie stew if you don’t eat meat!) Hope you guys enjoy! Also hooray for wool hat weather! 🙌🏾 #newvideo #youtube #mealprep
  • #flashbackfriday to a preppy Zahra in college (when I worked at Hollister 🙃) and polo shirts were life - also my parents had that plaid couch for a decade and that treadmill was NEVER used. Lastly, thick eyebrows weren’t cool yet FYI. #TGIF #goodtimes
  • A peek inside my ‘creative mess’ aka my office where I finally finished editing a new YouTube video  it’s a quick (under 5 minute) makeup tutorial using a lot of new @ctilburymakeup I recently picked up (and btw absolutely LOVE)- for a really fresh ‘enhanced natural’ face. Hope you enjoy!

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