Today I thought I’d tackle a topic that is an issue I often struggle with, how not to become one crusty bitter a$$ B. Side note: I’ve censored myself so long after having kids, I can’t even type the full B-word anymore, ha!
If you find yourself pessimistic, anti-social, or being so sarcastic to the point where you are bitter and unhappy with your life, this one’s for you.
There are so many reasons why people become what I’m calling a crusty a$$ B. One only has to think about all of the injustice around the world, and in our own daily lives to instantly feel overwhelmed. Scrolling Instagram feeds full of beautiful people with perfect lives and bodies can induce all sorts of eye-rolls, sneers, and subsequent self-loathing. Add to that the high-expectations we often set for ourselves, which can do major mental health damage to us if we don’t achieve them. It takes a LOT of conscious effort and constant practice to not be a crusty bitter B.
It occurred to me, after I had a series of bouts of sadness, depression, and issues with my own self-confidence, to ask my good friend for advice. She is not only successful and beautiful, but she has always had the self-assured vibe. I asked her to what does she attribute her great confidence and success. Shockingly, she said that she struggled with self-esteem and confidence issues herself, and she always looked up to me!
I learned three lessons that day from my BFF that really helped me get out of this nasty slump of my own causing, my own bitter crustification:
Dont Underestimate Yourself.
I thought she was perfect, and she was sitting there thinking the same of me. After looking at my own Instagram feed, I realized that there were probably people out there annoyed at me for the same reasons I was annoyed with them. Now we were all stuck in this sick cycle, on our way to becoming crusty. That subconscious negative dialogue can be a dangerous thing. I had to change my internal narrative and see myself in a positive light. I actually had to make an effort to think about positive things to say about myself, and then say them out loud to myself. I reminded myself of all of the things I had to be grateful for. It felt corny to do this exercise at first, but trust me, it worked.
Have something to believe in.
Whether that is your religion or another bigger purpose in life. Focus on the idea that you are alive for a reason, that you are a small part of a bigger picture. Trusting the process is another way to look at this one.
In my case, at one point I was comparing my post-baby body to some of the fit girls in my feed, but Instead of getting motivated to actually work out, I’d think ‘whats the point?’ and just be mad and stay on the couch eating crap. Now I know that in order to avoid becoming crusty and bitter, I have to physically work at changing the things I want to change. For me that means forcing myself to go to the gym like its not an option, forcing myself to put a little makeup on and do my hair daily because I know it makes me feel good, and carving out time for things I love to do like writing and reading. There’s no way around it (in my Rupaul voice) you better WORK!
You are alive anyway, so you might as well start really living. Here’s to avoiding becoming one bitter and crusty a$$ B!
Thanks for visiting as always.