Notes…Whore or Housewife?

jjill-flare-sleeve The other day some guy called me a whore as a response to one of my YouTube videos in an attempt to hurt my feelings. However, I saw it as a sign of good tidings instead. I had actually just purchased my copy of Whorticulture and was anxiously awaiting its arrival. The books aim is ‘dismantling the toxic and oppressive behavior regularly imposed onto the lives of all women.’

To back up a little though – I had been feeling a bit lost lately, my identity as a mom, my career, my passions – everything that was once a sure thing began to get blurry in my mind. I thought back to my childhood and how I was always so opinionated, bold, and did not care at all what other people thought of me. I loved to shock people by doing things out of the ordinary, especially fighting cultural taboos that I felt were just plain stupid. I was adventurous and lived my life to the fullest. Girls would be called whores or ‘hoes’ for doing nothing wrong, except for challenging societies notions of a woman’s role. I actually didn’t care if people thought I was a hoe – I was living my best life while they just talked about me.

So I asked myself – when did I go from the carefree ‘hoe’ to this self-conscious, timid housewife?

So I read some books, meditated, prayed, and just searched for guidance for myself. Of course getting older, having children, adulting – can and does change you somewhat. But there is something I missed about the old me and I couldn’t figure it out. Then I read an article about how trauma can affect your personality, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head and I can almost exactly pin point that moment. It was when I came out of my coma from my snowmobile accident in 2009. Nothing was the same ever since then. I didn’t know it but I was going into a new phase of life where I didn’t have the confidence I once had, and I questioned my purpose in life and even broke up with Tom to ‘find myself’. I guess I just needed time to heal and feel safe again.

I decided that right now, things in my life are going exactly as they should. I know I’m not alone, God has my back because my intentions are pure. I now feel a sense of calm and that ignited that old hoe fire in me again. So guys…I’m now on a journey to bring back that ‘hoe’ I once was, in the very best sense of the word, of course. (Many thanks to the YouTube troll with the fake account for this revelation!)

briggs-zahra monica-vinader-jjill-blouseTop: Thanks to J.Jill |Shoes: Sigerson Morrison | Denim: Zara (old) | Necklace: Monica Vinader 

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  • Happy 9 Year anniversary to the love of my life @tom_sandberg! Real talk, whoever needs to hear this rn who is struggling to be with the person they love - whether it’s because of what other people think about their race, religion, sexuality, or even status (yes still a thing!) - my advice is - Follow your heart! It’s the *only* thing that matters. It’s the only thing that’s TRUE. Society and other people DO NOT matter. Sorry if that’s aggressive but it’s the truth. Who you wake up next to each day, does matter - a LOT. SO glad I went against a lot of the ‘advice’ well intentioned people gave me, and married this hunky dude who cracks me up and doesn’t take my shit - but loves it regardless. Here’s a series of pics that describe our relationship perfectly- me trying to be hella extra for pics per usual - and him either going along or extremely confused. (Swipe to see the pic where I’m asking him to lift me above his head)
  • Pro tip for moving with kids - especially during summer vacation - figure out your childcare/activities/summer camps BEFORE you move! Trying to do it in the midst of living out of boxes is stressful AF. Unpacking and having tools and other unsafe objects everywhere with a toddler running around is impossible. I went from having childcare two days a week to zero - and finding a great provider is a process that shouldn’t be rushed. We are getting there though, slowly but surely! Since I haven’t had time to take any new pics - here’s another from our trip to the Scottish Highland games this past weekend! I’d throw in a GOT reference but I don’t watch it so I don’t know any of the characters 🙈
  • Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing dads out there - and especially to my  @tom_sandberg! We love you! (Even though we forgot to get you a present 🙈)
  • Today was the first day we left our hot mess of a (newly moved in) house - and even though I know it takes time to get settled in, my inner OCD Virgo perfectionist wants the house to be picture perfect by now - but regardless of how much there is to do, we spent some time at the Scottish Highland games today and the kids had a blast - especially with these adorable pups! Swipe to see ❤️
  • Hey guys! It’s been a whirlwind week - we moved out of one house, stayed in a hotel for a few days, then moved in to our new home! (See a tour in my ‘home’ highlights) Currently I’m drowning in a heap of boxes, I haven’t washed my hair in forever, and living on iced coffee and leftover pizza ~ thank you so much to everyone who dm’d me well wishes and even prayers for our family - it means so much to  us! 🙏🏾💕
  • #ad Almost done packing weee! Glad I have @SecretDeodorant’s #AluminumFree Deodorant with me for my more relaxed days! It's dye, paraben, and aluminum free PLUS glides on clear and dry! Watch my stories to see me do a skin-feel test.
  • Can’t seem to shake the funk im in after starting watching @ava’s ‘When They See Us’ on @netflix - I can only watch a little at a time because it really affects me hard - I posted about it in my stories and SO many of you agree and shared with me you cried while watching it. I like to keep things light around here but I just want to say if you haven’t already - watch it - it’s so important that we all face reality and not live in our own bubbles. Hopefully the increased awareness will lead to actual systemic changes. *end rant*
  • My favorite girl in her cute Eid dress from grandma! We celebrated today with family and just made it easy on ourselves and went to Chuck E Cheese ~ p.s. this will probably be our last pic in front of this door 😫😫#eidoutfit #mommyandme #ansabjahangirstudio
  • Feeling like I’m floating into Eid in this gorgeous cape suit - my second Eid look thanks to @basimmichelle - Eid Mubarak to everyone celebrating! Let’s eat! 🍴 #basimmichelle #eidoutfit #pssEid

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