Notes…Whore or Housewife?

jjill-flare-sleeve The other day some guy called me a whore as a response to one of my YouTube videos in an attempt to hurt my feelings. However, I saw it as a sign of good tidings instead. I had actually just purchased my copy of Whorticulture and was anxiously awaiting its arrival. The books aim is ‘dismantling the toxic and oppressive behavior regularly imposed onto the lives of all women.’

To back up a little though – I had been feeling a bit lost lately, my identity as a mom, my career, my passions – everything that was once a sure thing began to get blurry in my mind. I thought back to my childhood and how I was always so opinionated, bold, and did not care at all what other people thought of me. I loved to shock people by doing things out of the ordinary, especially fighting cultural taboos that I felt were just plain stupid. I was adventurous and lived my life to the fullest. Girls would be called whores or ‘hoes’ for doing nothing wrong, except for challenging societies notions of a woman’s role. I actually didn’t care if people thought I was a hoe – I was living my best life while they just talked about me.

So I asked myself – when did I go from the carefree ‘hoe’ to this self-conscious, timid housewife?

So I read some books, meditated, prayed, and just searched for guidance for myself. Of course getting older, having children, adulting – can and does change you somewhat. But there is something I missed about the old me and I couldn’t figure it out. Then I read an article about how trauma can affect your personality, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head and I can almost exactly pin point that moment. It was when I came out of my coma from my snowmobile accident in 2009. Nothing was the same ever since then. I didn’t know it but I was going into a new phase of life where I didn’t have the confidence I once had, and I questioned my purpose in life and even broke up with Tom to ‘find myself’. I guess I just needed time to heal and feel safe again.

I decided that right now, things in my life are going exactly as they should. I know I’m not alone, God has my back because my intentions are pure. I now feel a sense of calm and that ignited that old hoe fire in me again. So guys…I’m now on a journey to bring back that ‘hoe’ I once was, in the very best sense of the word, of course. (Many thanks to the YouTube troll with the fake account for this revelation!)

briggs-zahra monica-vinader-jjill-blouseTop: Thanks to J.Jill |Shoes: Sigerson Morrison | Denim: Zara (old) | Necklace: Monica Vinader 

Follow Zahra_Sandberg on Instagram!

  • That look when...ALL your friends tell you (after you ask them, for research obv) that your best quality is that you are ‘REAL and RELATABLE’ and at first I took it as meaning i was not ‘aspirational’ as Fashion Bloggers are supposed to be (are they? I don’t know I’m rambling now) but now I’m thinking....is that actually such a bad thing?? I mean I would hope I’m real...Isn’t being real aspirational these days? 
#flashback #thinkingoutloud #ethicalfashionblogger
  • We shot this picture a few weeks ago because Tom’s uncle was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and we wanted to cheer him up (Adam and I made the sign and his other uncle made special bracelets) since then I’ve learned of even more friends of mine who have been diagnosed with cancer and it is just mind boggling how you can be so young and healthy and yet still be faced with it. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. I felt like sharing this pic (even though I look possessed) because sometimes we get so into our own heads about our lives, our own needs and wants - and this is just a reminder that if you have your health, you really have it all ❤️
  • I’ve had a love hate relationship with my living room paint color since we moved in to this house 7 years ago. I almost painted it all white this month but chickened out last minute - what do you guys think? Paint it or nah?
  • Gym update: Not there...
My mind is always running though, does that count???
Wearing @ariandoak capsule collection #pakistanifashion #styleinspo
  • No Coffee, No Talkie 〰️ (Also in case you’re wondering yes that’s marker on my bean bag chair because there is marker on everything in my house atm - I’ve accepted it and moved on) Zoom in and/or swipe to see my gorgeous coffee mug by @traditionaltruckartmugs - have a great week beautiful insta familia! ❤️ #coffeelover #giftideas #momswithcameras
  • Hot chocolate - not *just* my nickname in high school~ 😜@simplymithai makes desi sweets look as gawjus as they actually taste! From a girl who was forever scarred for bringing seviyan (a Pakistani dessert) to school for ‘culture day’ (the kids thought they were worms in milk) so....these pretty pieces are a breath of fresh air! (These ornaments are actually filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows!) Check out their IG for more on how Ambreen lives and breathes chocolate and burfi (side note: also appreciate she doesn’t spell it barf-i 🤮 ) - anyway it’s so much fun - enjoy! #holiday #hotchocolate #ornaments
  • Just like a candle in the wind 🌬 Currently keeping warm inside decorating my tree 🎄, reading Michelle Obama’s new book Becoming, and burning @hillhousenaturalsfarm candle in Fresh Spruce and Orange (smells *exactly* like Christmas) What are you guys doing today?? #sundayfunday #holidaydecor #cozyhome
  • Love is my religion ❤️ to be quite honest, I’m tired of all the labels 〰️ wearing a thrifted @alexanderwangny crop top from @materialworldco and holding a Swarovski motif from last night’s @jimmychoo + you party. #mood #love
  • Last night with my favorite @annieswift @jimmychoo celebrating the Choo + You personalization service, where you can choose different motifs out of Swarovski crystals to make your own bespoke piece! (More in stories check it out) Thank you @cranberrytantrums for the 📸! #instastyle #jimmychoo #styleblogger

Follow Me!