Hey guys, its been a minute. I almost didn’t write that because honestly I hate it when bloggers start a post by apologizing for being away so long, as if anyone even really noticed – haha. That being said, I feel I do owe it to those who have noticed, to let you know why its been a little quiet around here.
I started 2019 with the intention to take a step back from blogging – something I go into a little more detail on The Demureist podcast, called Of Woman Nature -which you can find anywhere you get your favorite podcasts. To sum it up, I was a bit burnt out, frustrated, and unsure of my future in this social media world because its such a new and ever-changing industry. I didn’t want to just keep doing it because I’ve been doing it for so long, especially if it was stressing me out. I started feeling this way a while back, at the beginning of 2018, and thats when I decided to branch out and take some comedy and photography classes, read more books, and just dabble in anything that interested me.
I’ve always had a competitive streak, and throughout my life I’ve usually been successful at anything I put my mind to – but for some reason my audience wasn’t growing as fast as I wanted and – to be quite honest I did feel like a failure. At one point I was editing a thrift haul Youtube video, and I noticed all I was doing in the video was complaining and making excuses for myself, which really put me off. That person isn’t me, I thought – and I knew I had to figure my shit out quickly or I was about to continue to be miserable. So, i took time off and spent the first quarter of the year really just taking it easy, focusing on family and having fun. We also took a couple of trips, and spending time in nature was just really, really good for me. I actually started missing all of the creative stuff I did with the blog, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it.
While on my break, I thought why not try another side hustle? So I started applying for some part-time jobs where I could work remote – but nothing panned out, which was a good thing because I wasn’t excited about any of them. But I figured I might as well build some skills in another industry if I’m going to be quitting blogging for good. Then something really amazing happened. A few weeks ago, I interviewed for an opportunity that is a *dream* career move – I can’t share what it is yet because I still don’t know if I got it or not (sorry!). The project-based job would require me to travel for a few weeks – and I would have to come up with a childcare solution and do all kinds of finagling to make it actually work. And I was/am willing to do all of that, just for the chance to have this dream career move.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks – all this time, the seven years since starting Love Zahra, I realized I’ve been waiting for someone else to discover me and give me an opportunity to shine, before I would come out of my own comfort zone. I was willing to go way above and beyond for something I perceived as a great opportunity, but for myself I’ve been putting in the bare minimum. I’m not saying I didn’t put in a lot of effort in creating this space, but I know in my heart I could do so much more. I was focusing on things I couldn’t control, like how many followers I had, when I should have been focused on creating and doing the things that bring me joy. Realizing how much I actually do enjoy what I do here, and knowing that I’ve only just scratched the surface in what is possible – makes me so excited I could scream. So now if I get that dream job or not, I’m just fine because I’m going to be having a grand old time doing what I love already.
So here’s to believing in yourself, finding your joy, and makin’ moves!