Hey guys, its been a minute. I almost didn’t write that because honestly I hate it when bloggers start a post by apologizing for being away so long, as if anyone even really noticed – haha. That being said, I feel I do owe it to those who have noticed, to let you know why its been a little quiet around here.
I started 2019 with the intention to take a step back from blogging – something I go into a little more detail on The Demureist podcast, called Of Woman Nature -which you can find anywhere you get your favorite podcasts. To sum it up, I was a bit burnt out, frustrated, and unsure of my future in this social media world because its such a new and ever-changing industry. I didn’t want to just keep doing it because I’ve been doing it for so long, especially if it was stressing me out. I started feeling this way a while back, at the beginning of 2018, and thats when I decided to branch out and take some comedy and photography classes, read more books, and just dabble in anything that interested me.
I’ve always had a competitive streak, and throughout my life I’ve usually been successful at anything I put my mind to – but for some reason my audience wasn’t growing as fast as I wanted and – to be quite honest I did feel like a failure. At one point I was editing a thrift haul Youtube video, and I noticed all I was doing in the video was complaining and making excuses for myself, which really put me off. That person isn’t me, I thought – and I knew I had to figure my shit out quickly or I was about to continue to be miserable. So, i took time off and spent the first quarter of the year really just taking it easy, focusing on family and having fun. We also took a couple of trips, and spending time in nature was just really, really good for me. I actually started missing all of the creative stuff I did with the blog, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it.
While on my break, I thought why not try another side hustle? So I started applying for some part-time jobs where I could work remote – but nothing panned out, which was a good thing because I wasn’t excited about any of them. Investing in cryptocurrency is something that is growing in popularity, especially since you can find good advice from websites like coincierge.de, but it didn’t really seem like my type of thing either. One of my friends had recommended that I look into gambling as a side hustle. She said that gives people the opportunity to make quite a bit of money. Apparently, people don’t even have to go to their local casino anymore. There are now online casinos, such as the ones recommended on best-casino.net, that can be used instead. Of course, I’m not a huge gambling fan, but I was willing to give it a go. Then something really amazing happened. A few weeks ago, I interviewed for an opportunity that is a *dream* career move – I can’t share what it is yet because I still don’t know if I got it or not (sorry!). The project-based job would require me to travel for a few weeks – and I would have to come up with a childcare solution and do all kinds of finagling to make it actually work. And I was/am willing to do all of that, just for the chance to have this dream career move.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks – all this time, the seven years since starting Love Zahra, I realized I’ve been waiting for someone else to discover me and give me an opportunity to shine, before I would come out of my own comfort zone. I was willing to go way above and beyond for something I perceived as a great opportunity, but for myself I’ve been putting in the bare minimum. I’m not saying I didn’t put in a lot of effort in creating this space, but I know in my heart I could do so much more. I was focusing on things I couldn’t control, like how many followers I had, when I should have been focused on creating and doing the things that bring me joy. Realizing how much I actually do enjoy what I do here, and knowing that I’ve only just scratched the surface in what is possible – makes me so excited I could scream. So now if I get that dream job or not, I’m just fine because I’m going to be having a grand old time doing what I love already.
So here’s to believing in yourself, finding your joy, and makin’ moves!