I’m letting two worlds collide in today’s post by sharing something I wrote for my stand up class. We had to do a set about something honest, something truly personal. It didn’t have to be funny, just real. I decided to write about my near death experience I had back in 2008, which changed the trajectory of my life completely.
There isn’t anything certain in this life, except of course for death.
The saying goes ‘death and taxes’ but we all know if you are rich enough you can escape one of those. (Looking at you Donald…)
So if it is a sure thing why are we always so upset about it? I guess its always because the people who go too soon end up being the nicest, best people imaginable.
So i guess if you want to live forever just be an a-hole? No thats too easy, they die too anyway.
I almost died once. In a freak snowmobile accident. It was a complete freak accident and the 7 vodka tonics I had at various bars along the trail had absolutely nothing to do with it.
I remember none of the accident, just the before and after. I remember hitting 100 mph while Kanye’s 808 and Heartbreak blared in my headphones. That was incredible. I felt invincible. Still one of my favorite albums too…
Later that night while going about 20 mph my sled hit something and flipped over and catapulted me off in to the distance while my boyfriend, horrified, watched me helplessly as he was behind me on his own sled.
I woke up intibated, the tubes down my throat, and arms tied down to the hospital bed. I thought I was dreaming or having a nightmare or something. I couldn’t speak because of the tubes so I wrote out my one question to the nurse – what happened?? after they said I had an accident, I noticed my family was in the room – they had flown in from California – my next question was ‘ is it that bad??’ I thought I was definitely dying.
They told me I was flown to a hospital in Madison, Wisconsin, because the little podunk town we were in didn’t have a neurosurgeon, and they thought I might need brain surgery. They thought this because while I seemed totally fine, while I was talking to the doctor, I learned he used to be an Engineer so, at the time I worked for an Engineering firm and apparently I was trying to recruit MY DOCTOR TO GO BACK TO ENGINEERING AND WORK FOR MY COMPANY.
I did have two separate hematomas in my head, and i shattered my collarbone. But I would live.
My husband, then boyfriend had to make the fateful call to my parents in California. Not only did they not know I was going on this trip, they didn’t know about my boyfriend. So my not Muslim boyfriend had to call my Muslim father – like ‘hi sir, I’m dating your daughter and by the way she also might be dying’
I didn’t need brain surgery as the hematoma reduced by itself by the grace of God. I do have a shiny new metal collarbone as a souvenir though. No it does not set off the metal detector at the airport…
Almost dying was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve always thought I lucked out, this was my second chance at life. I’m appreciating every moment I have here on Earth, doing everything I can and trying not to complain too much. I’m not wasting my time dwelling on past mistakes nor am I wasting my precious time on people who bring me down. I’m living my life unapologetically, authentically me.
Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got until its (almost) gone?
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