Leather Weather

I’m letting two worlds collide in today’s post by sharing something I wrote for my stand up class. We had to do a set about something honest, something truly personal. It didn’t have to be funny, just real. I decided to write about my near death experience I had back in 2008, which changed the trajectory of my life completely.

There isn’t anything certain in this life, except of course for death.

The saying goes ‘death and taxes’ but we all know if you are rich enough you can escape one of those. (Looking at you Donald…)

So if it is a sure thing why are we always so upset about it? I guess its always because the people who go too soon end up being the nicest, best people imaginable.

So i guess if you want to live forever just be an a-hole? No thats too easy, they die too anyway.

I almost died once. In a freak snowmobile accident. It was a complete freak accident and the 7 vodka tonics I had at various bars along the trail had absolutely nothing to do with it.

I remember none of the accident, just the before and after. I remember hitting 100 mph while Kanye’s 808 and Heartbreak blared in my headphones. That was incredible. I felt invincible. Still one of my favorite albums too…

Later that night while going about 20 mph my sled hit something and flipped over and catapulted me off in to the distance while my boyfriend, horrified, watched me helplessly as he was behind me on his own sled.

I woke up intibated, the tubes down my throat, and arms tied down to the hospital bed. I thought I was dreaming or having a nightmare or something. I couldn’t speak because of the tubes so I wrote out my one question to the nurse – what happened?? after they said I had an accident, I noticed my family was in the room – they had flown in from California – my next question was ‘ is it that bad??’ I thought I was definitely dying.

They told me I was flown to a hospital in Madison, Wisconsin, because the little podunk town we were in didn’t have a neurosurgeon, and they thought I might need brain surgery. They thought this because while I seemed totally fine, while I was talking to the doctor, I learned he used to be an Engineer so, at the time I worked for an Engineering firm and apparently I was trying to recruit MY DOCTOR TO GO BACK TO ENGINEERING AND WORK FOR MY COMPANY.

I did have two separate hematomas in my head, and i shattered my collarbone. But I would live.

My husband, then boyfriend had to make the fateful call to my parents in California. Not only did they not know I was going on this trip, they didn’t know about my boyfriend. So my not Muslim boyfriend had to call my Muslim father – like ‘hi sir, I’m dating your daughter and by the way she also might be dying’

I didn’t need brain surgery as the hematoma reduced by itself by the grace of God. I do have a shiny new metal collarbone as a souvenir though. No it does not set off the metal detector at the airport…

Almost dying was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve always thought I lucked out, this was my second chance at life. I’m appreciating every moment I have here on Earth, doing everything I can and trying not to complain too much. I’m not wasting my time dwelling on past mistakes nor am I wasting my precious time on people who bring me down. I’m living my life unapologetically, authentically me.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got until its (almost) gone?

sandro-leather-jacket-jjill-sweater-aquazzura-heels aquazzura-heels-fall-outfitaquazzura-fur-sandals jjill-sweater-layeredTop: Thanks to J.Jill (get 25% off with code OCT2517)| Jacket: Sandro (old – similar leather style – similar suede style) | Jeans: Zara (old – similar style) | Bag: Stella McCartney | Shoes: Aquazzura – similar style (under $110) |

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Last week we took a quick trip to escape the snow for some sunshine in Key Largo, Florida☀️ We spent every moment possible outside, Tom and Adam got their Scuba Diver PADI certification (yay!) while Sophia and I spent our days either swimming or drawing marine life and landscapes. This was my first trip after my sister passed last November, and even though I look so happy here, there were so many moments I felt the grief and sadness, as if it happened just yesterday. I am still figuring out how I want to show up in this space, as I have changed so much as a person since the loss. I just don’t feel called to post some of the things I shared before. Maybe that will change someday, or maybe it will just naturally evolve into something new. I think I will take this year to just process it all. (Even the idea of taking an entire year to think through something is a huge shift for my usually hyperactive type A personality) My focus at the moment is just living in the moment with my family and friends, spending time doing things that make me happy and healthy. I hope to share some of that journey here with you ~ thanks for following along ❤️
I had planned to shoot this outfit in collaboration with @lenacoutureofficial right before my dear sister passed away. Saba, the designer, was more than understanding if I didn’t want to anymore - but after thinking on it for a while I decided I wanted to - in my sister’s honor 💗 She was always my biggest hype woman. When i would feel like I’m not good enough or that I should quit (which was often) she would tell me I was unique and great and to keep it up. When I think of my sister, beauty and love is all that she embodied in her being. She expressed that on the outside also - as she loved to wear everything glam, bright & colorful, and full of bling. Hair done, nails done, everything did - that was Nusrat. For this shoot I took the time to get glam after a long hiatus - and makeup and hair took so long because I think I forgot how to do it, but afterwards I was surprised how I felt transformed. When I wore this gorgeous outfit that I know was designed with such love and incredible attention to detail by @lenacoutureofficial, I felt all of that beauty - like a walking piece of art, and very much at peace. Thank you so much to @divmophoto for capturing the feeling so well 💕
Ski weekend with my favorites ❄️❄️ So proud of Sophia for skiing on her own for the first time!
There are some trees with seeds that only grow after a fire. Their seeds are completely sealed with a resin that have to be physically melted off by a great fire in order to propagate. So to do we as humans, gain wisdom only after great pain and suffering.*
A month ago (and one day) I lost my sister and best friend to cancer. I am still completely gutted and broken. But, I’m also so so grateful to have had felt the love that now brings me so much heartbreak. ❤️ I am so inspired by her - and I will forever live my life to honor her memory. Miss you sis ❤️
Classic outfit combo: oversized blazer + denim 🖤fendi mules @shoeslutz
Just a mom who loves mums 🌸 🪴
Cozy for a coffee date ☕️
French. Toast. Egg. Bake. Save this recipe for a weekend or holiday brunch - it’s SO good and fool-proof! I’m not even a sweet person and I love it. The pecans are a non-negotiable IMO - I get honey bourbon vanilla pecans for this and it is just heavenly. Enjoy!