Tragedy, Loss, Entitlement

Peace and Blessings Manifest With Every Lesson Learned

-Erykah Badu

Let’s talk about tragedy for a second. Big and small. There is that saying about how our happiness isn’t defined by what happens to us, but how we choose to react to it. We can’t control what happens, but we can control our reaction. That makes complete sense to me, but it is obviously easier said than done.

I just read something that left me absolutely shook. I was hoisted out of my own privilege and given a reality check, and for that I am so grateful. As you may have noticed from my recent  blog posts (including my use of thinly disguised curse words lol) I’ve been a little emotional lately. I promise I’m fine, but I’ve just been on a path to finding myself – taking the time to listen to and learn from my inner voice, and with that comes releasing some pent up emotions.

Bibi Bourelly, the artist, the QUEEN, posted something on Instagram and I was going to summarize it for you but she said it *so* beautifully I’m just going to share it in its entirety here. (P.S. You need to follow her she is incredible.)

‘As human beings we don’t understand a lot. Especially hurtful things. More times than others, especially when caught in the moment, we are literally inadequate of fathoming or comprehending why the things that hurt us happen? Why do things that feel so horrible occur? I think that might be our biggest dilemma. The “why?” Every time something that doesn’t feel pleasant or positive crosses our paths. I wish we’d question our blessings the same way. Most of us take the light in our lives for granted.Like we deserve it. I know I take things for granted sometimes. I shouldnt, but I do. I’m working on it. We act like we are entitled to the food on our plates or the clothes on our backs, the friends that we have or the rare and impactful smiles of strangers. We act like we deserve our lucky days , where we just happen to find a dollar bill on the floor or something, just because we are “good people”. But isn’t being a good, kind hearted , honest person supposed to mandatory? Why should we be rewarded for trying our best? Isn’t it reward enough to go to sleep knowing you’re trying your best? Everything good we deserve and everything bad we don’t deserve? Everything good was meant to be and everything bad wasn’t according to most of us. Something deep within me really and truly believes that our misfortunes are blessings in disguise. Everything is a blessing. Might sound crazy. It might also just be a coping mechanism to get through tough shit… but I can’t help but believing that our misfortunes help us understand things better if we can tap into the love in our hearts. They also give us experience. I mean, this is life after all. We are supposed to experience it for all that it is. The way it is. It’s the whole point of being alive. To feel it all. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. I just wish we were more willing to learn from our pain instead of resenting life for it. We are here. We are the ones that are here. Isn’t that cool? Like just look around you. You’re here. You’re fucking Alive. So am I .Crazy. Trips me out sometimes.’

Preach!

That feeling that we are entitled to have no pain in life, that we are somehow above pain and suffering even though we know it is all around us, that is what is really the issue at hand. That is why we can’t handle struggle and it consumes us.

If that doesn’t make you feel some kind of way, watch this video by Drake – Gods Plan –  I dare you to watch it and NOT tear up at least once.

If you are in the mood and want to vibe to some more real music, I’m currently digging a song called Earth Girls  – thank you to Maya Washington for putting me on to it!

If you are in the mood to reflect, I also encourage you to check out my friend the talented artist Tahsin, her work constantly inspires me, consoles me, and encourages me.

Just that little act of remembering we are not entitled to anything just by simply existing, and being grateful for the blessings we do have, makes coping with life and its inevitable tragedies, much more bearable. At least for me.

Oh, and there’s a new outfit below <3

Thank you for visiting as always. Sending you all Peace and Love

xx

Zahra

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Shop The Look: HatBlazer |Layering Turtleneck |  Sweatshirt (mens sizing) | Bag | Denim | Similar Boots

Follow Me! @zahra_sandberg

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Last week we took a quick trip to escape the snow for some sunshine in Key Largo, Florida☀️ We spent every moment possible outside, Tom and Adam got their Scuba Diver PADI certification (yay!) while Sophia and I spent our days either swimming or drawing marine life and landscapes. This was my first trip after my sister passed last November, and even though I look so happy here, there were so many moments I felt the grief and sadness, as if it happened just yesterday. I am still figuring out how I want to show up in this space, as I have changed so much as a person since the loss. I just don’t feel called to post some of the things I shared before. Maybe that will change someday, or maybe it will just naturally evolve into something new. I think I will take this year to just process it all. (Even the idea of taking an entire year to think through something is a huge shift for my usually hyperactive type A personality) My focus at the moment is just living in the moment with my family and friends, spending time doing things that make me happy and healthy. I hope to share some of that journey here with you ~ thanks for following along ❤️
I had planned to shoot this outfit in collaboration with @lenacoutureofficial right before my dear sister passed away. Saba, the designer, was more than understanding if I didn’t want to anymore - but after thinking on it for a while I decided I wanted to - in my sister’s honor 💗 She was always my biggest hype woman. When i would feel like I’m not good enough or that I should quit (which was often) she would tell me I was unique and great and to keep it up. When I think of my sister, beauty and love is all that she embodied in her being. She expressed that on the outside also - as she loved to wear everything glam, bright & colorful, and full of bling. Hair done, nails done, everything did - that was Nusrat. For this shoot I took the time to get glam after a long hiatus - and makeup and hair took so long because I think I forgot how to do it, but afterwards I was surprised how I felt transformed. When I wore this gorgeous outfit that I know was designed with such love and incredible attention to detail by @lenacoutureofficial, I felt all of that beauty - like a walking piece of art, and very much at peace. Thank you so much to @divmophoto for capturing the feeling so well 💕
Ski weekend with my favorites ❄️❄️ So proud of Sophia for skiing on her own for the first time!
There are some trees with seeds that only grow after a fire. Their seeds are completely sealed with a resin that have to be physically melted off by a great fire in order to propagate. So to do we as humans, gain wisdom only after great pain and suffering.*
A month ago (and one day) I lost my sister and best friend to cancer. I am still completely gutted and broken. But, I’m also so so grateful to have had felt the love that now brings me so much heartbreak. ❤️ I am so inspired by her - and I will forever live my life to honor her memory. Miss you sis ❤️
Classic outfit combo: oversized blazer + denim 🖤fendi mules @shoeslutz
Just a mom who loves mums 🌸 🪴
Cozy for a coffee date ☕️
French. Toast. Egg. Bake. Save this recipe for a weekend or holiday brunch - it’s SO good and fool-proof! I’m not even a sweet person and I love it. The pecans are a non-negotiable IMO - I get honey bourbon vanilla pecans for this and it is just heavenly. Enjoy!