Dealing with tragedy and loss by changing our perspective

Peace and Blessings Manifest With Every Lesson Learned

-Erykah Badu

Let’s talk about tragedy for a second. Big and small. There is that saying about how our happiness isn’t defined by what happens to us, but how we choose to react to it. We can’t control what happens, but we can control our reaction. That makes complete sense to me, but it is obviously easier said than done.

I just read something that left me absolutely shook. I was hoisted out of my own privilege and given a reality check, and for that I am so grateful. As you may have noticed from my recent blog posts (including my use of thinly disguised curse words lol) I’ve been a little emotional lately. I promise I’m fine, but I’ve just been on a path to finding myself – taking the time to listen to and learn from my inner voice, and with that comes releasing some pent up emotions.

Bibi Bourelly, the artist, the QUEEN, posted something on Instagram and I was going to summarize it for you but she said it *so* beautifully I’m just going to share it in its entirety here. (P.S. You need to follow her she is incredible.)

‘As human beings we don’t understand a lot. Especially hurtful things. More times than others, especially when caught in the moment, we are literally inadequate of fathoming or comprehending why the things that hurt us happen? Why do things that feel so horrible occur? I think that might be our biggest dilemma. The “why?” Every time something that doesn’t feel pleasant or positive crosses our paths. I wish we’d question our blessings the same way. Most of us take the light in our lives for granted.Like we deserve it. I know I take things for granted sometimes. I shouldnt, but I do. I’m working on it. We act like we are entitled to the food on our plates or the clothes on our backs, the friends that we have or the rare and impactful smiles of strangers. We act like we deserve our lucky days , where we just happen to find a dollar bill on the floor or something, just because we are “good people”. But isn’t being a good, kind hearted , honest person supposed to mandatory? Why should we be rewarded for trying our best? Isn’t it reward enough to go to sleep knowing you’re trying your best? Everything good we deserve and everything bad we don’t deserve? Everything good was meant to be and everything bad wasn’t according to most of us. Something deep within me really and truly believes that our misfortunes are blessings in disguise. Everything is a blessing. Might sound crazy. It might also just be a coping mechanism to get through tough shit… but I can’t help but believing that our misfortunes help us understand things better if we can tap into the love in our hearts. They also give us experience. I mean, this is life after all. We are supposed to experience it for all that it is. The way it is. It’s the whole point of being alive. To feel it all. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. I just wish we were more willing to learn from our pain instead of resenting life for it. We are here. We are the ones that are here. Isn’t that cool? Like just look around you. You’re here. You’re fucking Alive. So am I .Crazy. Trips me out sometimes.’

Preach!

That feeling that we are entitled to have no pain in life, that we are somehow above pain and suffering even though we know it is all around us, that is what is really the issue at hand. That is why we can’t handle struggle and it consumes us.

If that doesn’t make you feel some kind of way, watch this video by Drake – Gods Plan – I dare you to watch it and NOT tear up at least once.

If you are in the mood and want to vibe to some more real music, I’m currently digging a song called Earth Girls – thank you to Maya Washington for putting me on to it!

If you are in the mood to reflect, I also encourage you to check out my friend the talented artist Tahsin, her work constantly inspires me, consoles me, and encourages me.

Just that little act of remembering we are not entitled to anything just by simply existing, and being grateful for the blessings we do have, makes coping with life and its inevitable tragedies, much more bearable. At least for me.

Oh, and there’s a new outfit below <3

Thank you for visiting as always. Sending you all Peace and Love

Zahra